Why Do Men Look At Other Women?
I received an email from a woman with a question I wish more women would ask. If you know the real answer you might be better at accepting this thing we men do that seems to bother so many women:
“why if men love you as they say, do they scope out every attractive woman they see. My hub and I are very close but it bothers me that he has such a wandering eye, everywhere we go. It makes me feel that he is not satisfied with me. he says I have a problem. Even picks out tv shows with a lot of female content. if he is so in love as he says, why must he do this? AND what is he thinking when he does this?”
My reply:
“AND what is he thinking when he does this”
He’s not thinking, he’s reacting. As I explain in my book, a man’s evolutionary imperative is to mate with as many qualifying females as possible, to ensure the survival of as many offspring as possible. As you’ve probably noticed, it all starts with the woman’s body, right? Well, his instinct (mating radar I call it) is drawing his attention to the “ideal” mate’s body. You don’t say how old he is but this is the reason men are attracted to younger women: they’re in their mating and childbearing prime.
Men are visually attracted because there’s a direct connection between our optic nerve and our brain stem, with only a brief detour through the subconscious. In other words, unlike women, it’s like shoot first and ask questions later.:-) An attractive woman (potential mate) qualifies first on appearance then when we get to know her a little, we make the distinction between desirable and undesirable based on other criteria.
Basically, your husband’s mating radar is on all the time and he can’t turn it off. And I hope you don’t try! Let him look, humor him, some women find it works well for them if they point out other women to him. The way he feels about you is far better if you don’t get on his case about gazing. How you react will decide which brain chemicals flow in his head, happy or angry.
Now, if Brad Pitt or Pierce Brosnan walked into the room, you wouldn’t even notice, right? 
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This lady mentions that her husband says she has a problem and what he sees is insecurity. He tells her that because he loves her she shouldn’t get upset or worry if he looks at other women but she does anyway, apparently.
Reacting this way, with anger, when your guy looks at other women, will drive a wedge between the two of you and have the exact opposite effect from what you want. Gradually, if you keep complaining, he will start seriously thinking of jumping ship and getting one of those attractive women he likes to gawk at.
Why? Because you’re criticizing him for being a man, belittling his masculinity and insisting that he NOT be a man. And the funny thing is, you might be his idea of the most gorgeous, hottest woman he’s ever seen, and succeed in running him off for having normal male mating instincts. You DID want a masculine man in the first place, right?
Now, the shocking truth: women are visual, too, and look at men they unconsciously approve of as ideal mating material.
Owen
www.man2woman.net
